I need a job!

32 days to my ORD, 9 days to my last payday, 7 days to my genting trip, I am totally broke! I need liquid assets, I need hard cold cash! Speaking of payday on the 10th May, I am 300 bucks in debt, don't worry, im in debt not due to gambling, never would that ever happen! Its all because of my exorbitant spending habits, really ought to be more thrifty. On top of the 300 bucks, I needa pay another 100 bucks for ORD function. There goes 50% of my god damn meagre allowance. I really really need to get a job soon! Day by day, I am wasting my life away by staying at home doing nothing in particular but reading and blogging. So anyone out there, who happen to stumble upon this blog and so happen that you have a job for me, please leave me a note. Im that desperate.
Dalai Lama says, " happiness is determined more by one's state of mind than by external events. " , " whether we are feeling happy or unhappy at any given moment often has very little to do with absolute conditions, but rather, it is a function of how we perceive our situation, how satisfied we are with what we have. " Is money really that important? Can money buy us happiness? If you are very rich(external events) but the means of getting all that money is illegal and the entire time you are worried that you will get arrested(state of mind), will you be happy? If you are earning just enough to support yourself(absolute conditions) but you think compared to many others, you are already living much more comfortably(perceive your situation), would you not be happier?
I truly agree with what Dalai Lama had said, but easier said than done. How many of us would truly be contented with what we have? How many of us would be clear headed enough to think of all this when we cant even make ends meet in the world out there? Frankly, I can't but I believe when one is able to achieve it, he will truly be happy, from within. The purpose of our lives is to seek happiness, Happiness from within not without and the 1st step to be happy is to think positive, write positive and be satisfied with life and smile more! :)
I am trying.

Friendster

Friendster screw it up again! Was saving my entry when stupid error occurred and thats it! Action could not be completed and therefore my entry was not saved and thus this is what you see!!!!
Friendster, Thank you very much for that error, so that I can retype my entry thinking that Ive too much time to spend while clearing leave, that was so considerate of you.
You are really my friend, Friendster!..........

Tenebrous feelings

" Summer rays through the clear blue skies, tenebrous feelings,
Autumn falls on the withering leaves, tenebrous feelings,
Winter grace in the snowy flakes, tenebrous feelings,
Comes Spring with the blooming flowers, still, tenebrous feelings. "
Wei Wen in the Doldrums.

The Art Of Unhappiness

Same shit, different day. Its an uneventful, boring, fucked-up day. Came home last night to find out that my room had been searched...by my parents. 2 packs of Ciggies is gone, not in my bag anymore. Needless to say, it was confiscated. Got Fucked all over the shop the moment I woke up today. Refused to speak to anyone, refused to explain anything, for the entire day, I just locked myself in my room, sleeping, reading, sleeping, reading...
FUCK THE WORLD! FUCK OFF! If you are not happy with reading this profanities filled ENTRY, then go FUCK YOURSELF cuz I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY SHIT!
" I REALLY DONT CARE HOW ANYBODY VIEWS ME, CUZ WHAT I EAT DONT MAKE U SHIT, SO WHY IS THERE A BAD TASTE IN UR MOUTH. "

The Art Of Happiness

What is happiness? How does each and everyone of us define happiness? How is happiness attained? Is it possible to be happy? I am seeking the answers to these Questions.
Last weekend, I went to Kinokuniya to and got a book titled "The Art Of Happiness" written by Howard C. Cutler, a psychiatrist in the states and HH Dalai Lama, a spiritual leader of the tibetian people. This book is recommended to me by my uncle. My uncle read this book when he was going through the downest and most miserable part of his life. He said he learnt to become happier and see problems in another perspective and that made him felt better. "The Art Of Happiness" is translated in 26 different languages, sold worldwide and is an International bestseller.
Generally, this book is about Dr Howard getting to know Dalai Lama, learning from him on experiences about life and such. Incooperating eastern spiritual traditions and the western perspective, revealing how one can find balance and complete mental and spiritual freedom.
I've just started to read it, I do feel it somehow changes one's perspective in viewing problems. Try this, instead of comparing how much better others are or how things could be better, think of how much worse it could be, think of others who are in a more sorry state than you and then reflect on all the things that you have and is enjoying. You would find that your sense of satisfaction in life increases and you become a happier person.
Got this book for Christine also, as her 21st birthday present. Hmm..quite cheapskate huh...I deemed many others would be giving all sorts of jewelleries, all kinda decor stuff and such, so I got her a book which I guess nobody would do that. Hopefully she will find the book useful and find her own happiness from within.
Will write more about the book when im done reading it.
"A wise man speaks because he has something to say,
A fool speaks because he has to say something."
Wei Wen has something to say.

Shit happens!

Shit really happens, expected my next and last allowance to be a thousand odd but...haiz.
1st shit that happened: Supposed to get $100 for my IPPT silver, but results not valid because SAF say the results we sent in last year was our 2nd year results instead of being the 1st. So this time round when we sent in our 2nd year results, no $$ for us! Cheers to all the ORD personnel in my company, less $100! And in exchange to our money, my OC gave us a day off for silver and 2 days off for gold. What an expensive OFF!
2nd shit that happened: Supposed to get $200 for my combat shoot marksmanship but SAF screwed it up again! All but thanks to SAF, saying that procedures difficult, takes time blarblarblar.. In conclusion, I wouldnt be getting that $200 next month. But if not next month then when? After I ORD? Cheers again to all the ORD personnel in my company who aint getting no $$. So there goes $300 in total and next month my allowance would only be 720 shitty buckaronies an i will ORD and die a poor man!
Shit happened again: Guess what? 2 weeks before I ORD, amidst clearing my leaves, I got to go outfield! I am attached to 5SIR for their battalion proficiency test as a Controller for their scouts team! 2 weeks before ORD, Camo on, SBO on, everything thing on, walk hell lot of distance for a 2 day exercise! I would like to thank my BDE Commander, S2, S3 and all other personnel involved for giving me this opportunity to do all this fun things amidst my leave. I'm sure, Fuck them all! Cheers once more to all the ORD personnel in my company attached for this exercise.
On a happier note, went to the range for my 2nd round of combat shoot yesterday. Shot full score for the day shoot, missed only 2 shots outta 20 for the night shoot. My detail got the highest score for night shoot and a highest overall score, got a day OFF from OC. This 2nd round of shooting, there is no $$ for marksman, its just for us to go to the live firing area, feed the mozzies, waste an entire day, wasting taxpayer's money on ammunition, food and water ( thats all that the SAF does anyway ). Bottom line is Ive gotten a day OFF so I am not complaining further. Cheers to all those who got their OFF. hahaz!
Another thing to cheer about, Im on leave WEF today 260405 to 010605 (ORD) except for the 2days I gotta go back as noted above. Cheers to everyone who are clearing their leave! ORD loh!
Laterz,
3SG(NS) CHIN WEI WEN

Problems

Problems that can be solved are not worth worrying because there will be solutions to it, Henceforth, problems without any solutions are also not worth worrying because since there are no solutions to it, then what's the point of worrying? Therefore, worrying becomes a Redundant thing to do.
In life, we worry about many things, money, studies, results, work just to name a few. But, is there really a need to be so worriful all the time? Let me quote you an eg, there is an upcoming project deadline to be met, you do not have much time left to complete your project, so everyday, you are scared and worried that you cannot finish and summit it in time, so you rush, burn the midnight oil, kill millions of brain cells, on top of all that worrying, you finally finish and summit your project in time. Thus, hasn't all that worrying in the first place been wasted? Isn't it all redundant coming to ponder over it? If you hadn't worry so much at first, more time, energy and effort could have been put into your project and thus acheive better results. The same goes for many other aspect in life, worrying reduces work productivity, increases stress, and worse of all assist you in nothing.
Positive thinking and words are very important. The way your thoughts flow affect the way you handles problems. Using positive and kind words on others and yourself produce a positive thinking and thus make you happier and other make other happier. In simpler terms, if you think you can, you can, if you think you cant then you cant, but when i reaffirm you saying you can, you feel happier, encouraged, and thus u could.
I quote " Each of us goes through a time when we're at a crossroad and not sure what toi do next, then someone comes along and say just the right words to get us through it ". Unquote.
In life, we should worry less, enjoy more, be happier, be more positive about ourselves and others, be more optimistic.
If anyone who is reading the above thinks that I am telling cock and bull story, well i am! Since when is life so simple?, i am Paris Hilton am I? Life is never easy, so im trying, for now it might be cock and bull, but who knows? I'll get through it.

Batam!

Dear Diary,
Today is the 15th of April 2005, 11 in the morning. One thing I hate about this blog is the date and time published. Its never Singapore time. 1stly, I do not know how to change it to GMT +0800. 2ndly, I don't think it can even be changed! Screw friendster for that.
I know this is a wierd time to write my diary but I am leaving for Indonesia-Batam, later in the afternoon, and so I would not be writing to my diary untill Monday 18th when I return.
Last Sat, I told you I am going to Sentosa for The Sun, The Sand and the Sea, but utimately, the sand and the sea was there but the sun wasnt, it was hiding beneath the clouds. It was a cloudy day, with a lot of tourists at PALAWAN beach. Went swimming with my friend's doggy.kakaz.. Went to eat steamboat at Goldenmile after that.Damn crowded place.The food is not bad. Played billards at Marina south after dinner. Played till 12+, went THE CHEESE PRATA SHOP @ kent ridge for supper. Reach home at about 5 in the morning, and slpt the whole of sunday, booked in on sunday night till now.
Been more than a month since I last went clubbing. Feel like going soon, but the M factor is running low nowadays. I kinda miss the music and the dancefloor. Wait till the M factor kicks in then talk about it.
Its always the M factor, my whole life is dependent on M factor, M factor is direct proportional to my life. People always say " hey, get a life man", without the M factor, how to? where to? who to?
Let M be infinity, and let me have M! of the M factor! WHEN!!!!!!!!!??????

KaiJun

Female, Undergraduate, An ex-classmate, A good friend, Ms Wong KaiJun.
This ger here is one of the kindest and most helpful and selfless you would find around, whenever her friends are in any kind of troubles, she would always try her best to help. Remember back in my JC days, after I retained my yr 1, by chance took up CLA, went to S12, and there, I got to know this ger. During that time, I was having great difficulties in my subjects esp Math C, one of my most hated subject, and its always an "F", maybe its just my brain. So this ger knew I was in trouble came forward and helped me, and so begun my Mathematics remedial, it was like a "Wednesday with Kaijun" except the fact that Kaijun wasnt gonna die anytime soon.kakaz. And so thereafter my Maths made tremendous improvements. I got a "C" in my Alevels, not that great to most, but I think its fantastic for one who always get a "F" to a "C". I mean who in the world would, volunteer her lunch hour, period before CCA starts, that few hrs, not sleeping, resting, revising, but to teach me simple A maths?? Well, this ger did. I would say this ger made a great impact in my life, right from the first day i know her. Sincerely, I want to say, Thank you Kaijun.
Despite all the good pts I mentioned above, there is something I wanna comment on. As a result from her helpfulness etc etc, she always got "bullied" , cleaning up shit left behind by others, BEN SI LE! Its good to be helpful, but there is always a limit in which we extend our help. Dont always be the one to clear up shit.
She is always encouraging, affirming people with positive words, and I think she hates to disappoint people, so her words would not put people down. So if you are having a bad day, after speaking to her , you will find out that life is wonderful! So even if you know yourself you are not good enough, she will make you feel you are worth much more.
Recently, this ger got into some problems, hopfully she can tide over it ASAP, she is one that can handle stress pretty well so shouldnt be a problem, but many a times, when you not alright , just say your not, there is no need to tell me your alright when you not. She is always trying to act like she is okie and everything is alright and stuff, maybe she doesnt want ppl to worry for her but it might be too much to take, doesnt it? And this ger never ask me for help when she got problems, maybe she feels that with my brains, I would never be able to solve her problems, but anyway, if she needs anything at all, I'll be around!
Do your best for ya exams! Good Luck!
PS: I cant think of any bad things to write about this ger.hahaz..Too good to be true?

Broke

Today is payday! But I am broke! What an irony! Went to Bras Brasah to find this book titled "A flash of lightning in the dark of night" by Dalai Lama. I am looking for the mandarin edition for my uncle but I could not find it. So I went down to Kino taka to enquire, they went to search for a long time and told me they only have the english edition ( the orginal text was tibetian ) and the mandarin edition has not been published yet. I wonder how can that be? This book is first published in 1994 and for 11years there is no mandarin edition? Wierd! Maybe its true...hahaz. So I went down to Golden Mile to book tickets for my Genting trip in May. Cost me S$218 for my gf and me. 1/4 of my pay? hahaz..Whats more? I am going to Batam with my gf this wkend. 2 2way ferry tickets cost S$60. The good thing is I will be staying at my grandma's house so I can save on hotel. My uncle is a bizman there, has a car, so he can drive me around, another problem solved. heez...But anyway gonna be a Broke man this month!
So after booking the shit, my friend drove me to the driving range at fairway club. My first time with the golf club. I think I suck at it. Gotta learn man, Important social skill. Quite tiring, sweat like shit after a few drives. Learning golf is expensive, 400 odd buckeronies for the course, where to find?!! Playing golf itself is also expensive. When will I ever have that kinda $$$ for this kind of entertainment?!
Oh! I remembered, Siying called me this afternoon to psycho me to join the Project Superstar, no thanks to kaijun. hahaz. I already made up my mind not to join le, so she persuaded me to no avail. I think she is still considering to go or nor, she summited the online application le, tmr is the reg at Suntec, but she, like me, also scared. I think she is braver cuz at least she click summit.hahaz. Ask me to go with her to ZHUANG DAN! I myself no DAN, how to join her to Zhuang Dan?! Hopefully she will go tmr and not miss the chance. Hmm..Maybe I am not the 2nd mouse afterall. I am drowned in that bucket of cream....
Hmmm..I am suppose to write a blog dedicated to Kaijun..shall do it tmr maybe.kakaz..Shall write down all the bad things about her! kakakaz..No man, i wont, cuz she is so good and nice! hahaz!
I am going to sentosa tmr! Yes! The Sun, The Sand and The Sea! I'm Lovin iT! Laterz!

Project Superstar

Today was not a bad day, went to the library in the afternoon, renewed my political science book, borrowed another 2 more books. One was titled "The Terminal Man". Its the man featured in the recent Tom Hanks Movie "The Terminal". The author of the book is the man himself. The real life story of him is totally different from what is shown from the movie. Just finish reading the book. A totally bureaucratic mess. I wonder why the systems does not allow for more lee-way for such situation. Hmm, if it was me in such situation, I probably wont last a yr, less 16yrs and still counting. The 2nd book Ive got is" Positive words, powerful results", its a self-improvement kind of book, have not touch on it yet, hopefully its useful.Lets be POSITIVE about it!hahaz..Shall finish my political science book 1st....
After returning home from the lib, remembered there is this Project Superstar going on on channelU, i log onto the webby and check it out. Hmmm...was real tempted to join, so I happily filled up the forms, read the rules n regulations, everything completed, all I need was to click summit. Then I started thinking...thinking...thinking...following which I close the page.I did not summit the application. Dont ask me why.....

Dedicated to Christine

Read Christine's blog. Wanted to comment but cant coz gotta register to blogspot. Ive known this ger when i was in sec 4, some 6years ago, together with jorine and co, on MIRC! hahaz..wierd har..some IRC frendzZ..Alright, when I 1st know this ger, she was happy and cheerful most of da time perhaps that time she is still young and demure hahaz.Entering JC, her life took a downturn and it has been flactuating eva since.
Getting lost in time and space is an epitome of your life? You know sometimes thinking too much is not a bad thing to do, but it does corrupts your mind when you start thinking too much of negative and pessimistic stuff. Like you said it yourself, your thoughts are scary, making you insecure and fearful. I do agree that everyone would have such thoughts once in a while. The point here is do not let past experiences hinders you to move on in your life. Sometimes you gotta feel good and positive about yourself 1st you can get things done ya?!
"Thoughts....They will bug the joy outta me" This a one funnnee phrase.Anyway, its a good thing that you writing your thoughts here, like ppl say when you unhappy, take a empty bottle and say whateva worries you have in, screw it back and throw it far far away.I guess this works the same way also, type everything in here, click save followed by shut down, it will all be trap in the computer!!.
Life doesnt get worse each time when you yourself know that you ve a supporting family and a hell lot of gd frendz ard you. You know you always say ppl cant help even if I tell them my problems, but if you realise, they are already helping you just by listening to you. Be glad that you have all these ppl around you, and rest assured that they will always give you a hand when you down, and that includes me.
Alright, thou shalt not comment on that so called "sucker". Like I told you the last time we met at NYDC, you should not start when you are not ready for a new relationship, its not fair to him, and its never gotta make you happier. But its your own choice and decision anyway, so live with it! Now if you ve another decision to make, make sure its the correct one, for him or for yourself, the utmost important thing is to be happy.
Life is a contradicting Irony, ironically contradicting. Learn how to live with it and life would be happier. If you watched "catch me if you can", I quote "Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. The second mouse, wouldn't quit. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter and crawled out. As of this moment, I am that second mouse." Be the 2nd mouse too! Laterz!

Sleeping

Slept the entire day, was so tired after a night long of mahjong session at shawn's place.What's worse? I lost $$.hahaz and thats not the worse, the worst thing is I am the only one who lost, lost $$ to 3 others..M i lousy, M i not? forget about the $$..I wasted the whole sunday doing nothing meaningful.Intended to do some reading but ended up sleeping.
I have been reading this book "Foundation Of Political Science" for weeks already. I borrowed it from the library 6weeks ago, returned and borrowed again 3weeks ago, and now, tmr is the due date and i have not completed half the book. What a loser! hmm..no matter what, Im going to renew the loan again tmr and I will finish the book! The reason why I borrowed the book is because I wanted to widen my knowledge on political science so I would more or less know what the hell im going to study when sch starts. Ive somehow or rather decided to major in political science unless something critical comes in that will make me change my mind. I know that it is a subject that few would be interested in less major. Surveys has shown that people nowadays dont even know who the hell is their prime minister, speaking of high literacy rate in Singapore? Whateva, it just interest me.
Over and on top of all the crap, this qn still bothers me, what can I b when i graduate? A political Scienctist? A politician? A carpark attendent?
To be or not to be? I do not have the answer to the question.

Company Cohesion @ Sentosa

I am Black Now!
See for yourself! Went to Sentosa today for coy cohesion. Had hell lotz of fun. Now damn tired. This is probably one of the last few time the coy will get together before all of the commanders ORD in June. Time really files man, 2 yrs is over in just a blink of an eye. 020403 was my enlistment date 2 yrs ago and tmr would be my 2yr anniversary in da army! In another 2 more months, I would be gone! Really learnt alot of stuff in my 2yrs in the army, met different kinds of ppl, there are nice ppl as well as FUCKERz! screw those Fuckerz anyway. Maybe I would Thank my plt sgt CARTER and if he happens to read this, I wanna thank him for teaching me alotta new things which I never knew, bout the army as well as bout life. Soon all my clubbing every month would come to an abrupt end due to the stoppage of monthly reimbursment by the SAF.hahaz...no more hardcore drinking and dancing for me! I shall treasure the rest of the days left with the guys in camp before we all part our ways and embark on the next stage of our life. Some I will still see in sch, some I would see hanging around town but others I might not see them anymore.Come to think of it, its quite sad that we are parting soon, having stayed with each other almost 24/7 for 2yrs. But still LIFE GOES ON.
Im really Black Now!